Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
