well you can't waste a boner
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
