College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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