you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
