Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
