Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
