this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
