"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
