so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize