I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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