Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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