Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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