she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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