Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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