i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize