U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize