White coat. Heels.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
