It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
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Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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