im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm at about main and main street
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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