dude i'm inner monologue high
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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