not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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