I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
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