Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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