What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
