it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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