So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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