I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
