Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize