Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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