theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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