just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The power of my boobs compel you
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
