Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
