Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize