She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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