My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
