This is not my ceiling
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
