Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
there was a trapeze. enough said
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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