Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
