told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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