47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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