she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
