ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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