Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
