is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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