How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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