Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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