I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
