I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
