i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize