I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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