lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So much rum. So many feels.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
