He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
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It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize