no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
they call him Oral-B. enough said
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
