im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
