So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
