we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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