she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize