You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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